efforts & my passion for this particular thing has practically gone down the drain..
i'm real disappointed..
after 2 whole years and 90 days of stupidity i've made,
i thought it was the best decision yet,
i'm wrong again..
everything's gone within a second..


i thought that today would be a happy day for me..
but how wrong i was..
i wasnt even that close to being happy.


i hate james kerk.
he's just being biased lor.. i did ask.
you just dint have to heart to hear wad i was saying.
i'll just prove something to you..
you're just being nice to pretty girls.
you asked me if i'm implying that i'm ugly.
well,
YES. a big yes for you..
i showed you attitude, so wad?
that little peanut wont empty those rage in me.


afternoon time was super saddening.
lots of fucking things happened in the last 1 hr..

some girl said i diao her..
she said i called out her name.
i'm not sure if she's reading this right now..
but, 1 thing i'll like to clarify..

i DID NOT diao you.
i was looking at my classmates & friends there..
e.g, priscilla, si min, eugene.. blah blah.
& 1 more thing..

i never called out your name.
it was some other girl in my class.. i dont even recall calling your name.
i dont know her..


she like.. knew loads of stuffs lah.
she even knows that i like that him..

I HATE KOKILA.
i dont hate her initally..
but now? i do.. alot.
was outside the office, looking for ms kokila.
she came out.. dunno why,
she started saying his name out. i was shocked lah..
i dint even tell her lor.. & yet she knows..
told her to lower down her volume, cos some guy who knew him was behind us.
instead, she called, "benny, come here." i think his name was benny lah..
& said, "this girl want to tell you something."
i walked away quickly.
& she told him that i like that guy lah..
they're like.. best friends.. & they gay ard.
he kept laughing.
i'm super pissed.


they announced the new ex-cos lor..

i'm super pissed. i cant believe that the NEUTRAL PARTY got in. the teachers are like super FUCKING BIASED LA. i know why they didnt choose shiping or my sis or yilian or adeline. its because we're like the protestants. their grp only accomodate 3 people. & if they were to choose the ex-cos, if cos they will choose the lesser grp of people. mrs loh thinks that shiping & her grp are the cause of ALL THE TROUBLES. but, actually, she ACL now, she has a good reputation.. some people and the guides teachers like respect her. and the CL, i felt so betrayed.. she has like.. 2 sided of her.

1: it was very long until the voting starts. she kept telling me about the ACL, she said how bitchy can she get?
2: it was a week before the voting. she suddenly said she was THE NEUTRAL PARTY.

i think she only want to grab more votes, make teachers think highly of her.. how pathetic, you shouldnt resort to this way. dont you know how many people you've hurt??
yes, i'm one of them..

my closest & best friend was in the ex-cos. hooray for her.
i felt so..
so mad. i'm filled with anger.


if any of the new ex-cos sees this,
its your own problem..
i'm not any jealous.
or any of the old ex-cos sees this,
or wankee,
please dont leak out?


now, the only person i believe in,
the only one i can confide in,
is jessie.

she called me, asking if i was feeling okay..
i think its real nice of her.
no one smses me nor come & cheer me up.

& yilian too.

thnks guys (:


now, i just dont know who to face her anymore..
she, my best friend,
i was having abit tears in my eyes..
suddenly, i like heard someone crying too.
guess wad?

she cried.
she said that her heart hurts to see me like this.
she dreads to see me being so upset.
she felt so hurt..

i have absolute nothing to say, just plain shocked at her reactions.
& she told me that my mood changed.. right after announcing the new ex-cos.
she said i wasnt like that before announcing those people.
i was super duper hyper active & having non-stop laughters.

i guess that, whenver my mood swings,
from an extreme joyfulness to extreme sadness,
its so god damn noticeable.


my GOD DAMN LIFE is seriously ruined now!!
more & more people knew that i like him.
hating guides more & more.
thinking of "pon-ing" guides soon.
everything sucks.
come & ask me.
i wont spill everything here.


mummy & i had this long talk..
saying that cca isnt that much of a use..
at most, it will only minus off 1 points from your O lvls.
to me, its very impt.. my studies are getting from bad to worse..
esp my fucking maths.

I WONT JOIN THAT BBC QUEST OR SOMETHING!!
i wont! i'm fucking stubborn..
yes i am. so what?


what emotions am i exactly feeling now?

fuck it,
my msn is seriously going bonkers.. i HATE IT!!!
i kept uninstalling it & installing it.
but, no use..
shucks.


chemistry test sucks.
we had 3 tests. actually it was meant to be 3, but, 2 in the end..
& the best thing is, it was the first period, follow by the second & third.
chemistry.. they said it was the solid first then the liquid.
but i drew the liquid followed by the solid.
it was condensation followed by freezing.
i wrote condensation and sublimation..
4 marks gone.
isotopes was spelled like that.
i spelled, "isotops"
where the fuck is that E?!
shit.
ss test was much better lah.
ms nurul gave us SO MANY HINTS! she even wrote down the points for us.
how nice (:

but people took advantage of her.
while she was writing on the board,
most of them were taking out their social studies textbook & copying them.
or they just took out their notes.
well, i didnt cheat.
can you believe it?
teachers gave their pupils special privileges & yet they overdo it.
how bad..

actually we're gonna have a fnn test today..
but faizal's dint tell us wad topic was coming out.
so, NO TEST!!
wooohooo~


i felt guilty.
she felt guilty too guys.. she told me that.
whenever teachers or our friends praises her & said art rocks like hell,
she feels terrible inside.
i dont know wad to feel..
guilty?
or i should just try not to dwell on it?
i'm so confused.


mrs yeo gave us a compre..
& that compre was bout a disney song.
then she gave us some moral support.
i thought to myself..
life may go wrong for me sometimes,
but, why should i think of death?
by ending my life,
who will be the ones who would cry for me?
its just a setback that happened to me..
so what?
i can just get back on my feet,
& start my journey all over again.

i've made up my mind!
i'll not be so upset if its really neccesary..
& you peepos are gonna see me smiling all DAY LONG!
i've finally changed my mind bout death & misery!!


& to yilian.. better prepared $5 for me tmr!
you're gonna lose the bet!! =D


BTW,


HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSIE DEARIE!
LOVE YA LOADS!

i promise you,
you'll get your present by tmr!!
yes! tmr!


i'm looking on the bright side of life now.
arent you glad?

& to him,
hope that you wont start to sigh now!

:D

feeling so sleepy.. actually din wanna blog. but,
haven update for 3 days.. might as well make it snappy (:


on monday.. while the 3 of us were walking to school,
we saw sammi! not shocking ain it?
but its kinda weird lah.. from day 1 of sec 1 to the day we saw her on monday,
we never walked into the school before.
so.. yeah!! one of the highlights of my day.

sometimes, i hate mondays.
cos mondays makes me feel sticky.
that p.e.. gosh.


although its 1+ now, i still feel that its tues today.
should be wed.
oh well, no difference ain it? except for the days & dates.


went for recess with jessie today. sammi dearie went for choir today!!
after jessie bought her stuffs,
she came back, & started thanking us for no reason..
i was abit shocked.. thought what had happened..
so i kept looking at her, her tears started to flow..
shocked again.
asked her what happened..
she said she was touched cos we listened to her,
as we did not really listen to her last year & the year before that.
was abit touched by her lah..
din cry, i controlled myself!! WOOO!

jessie, if you really need a listening ear, tell me!
i'm a good listener, i'm willing to hear you out! (:


had the esplanade performance thinggy..
oh yah! btw, wont be posting the photos now,
most probably post it by the end of this week.
i had a huge headache over what to wear for that performance..
finally decided on the black tee & the white skirt.
my maid suddenly came & put make-up on me.. T_T
went to jec.

anyu & shiping reached there le.
the moment i saw sp, i was at a loss for words.
heh.. its a compliment!!
& that particular guy, i'm seriously SERIOUSLY and i mean, seriously mad at him lah..
he made us miss 2 trains, dunno is it 3 trains anot, according to pf.
super mad. then i thought, i was going to sit beside him.. fuck.

reached the esplanade..
was standing there.. chatting & chatting & chatting..
a grp walked past me, REAL CLOSE.
looked up, saw someone, looked so familiar to me..
OH MY GOSH!!
it was him!! LOL~
he was dressed like..
"undescribable"..
was admiring him.. =/
he was so super shuai + cute!!
hahahahahahaha! no, seriously (:

& i doubt that he have seen me during the performance..
jasmine kept "feeding me with vinegar".
told me that she talked to him.
well, life's like that.
sometimes, you just have to appreciate what people has.


1 thing happened, after the intervention,
my sister suddenly LOST HER HANDPHONE AGAIN..
so she went to the toilet with yilian..
i kept staring at the exit door, saw them coming in.
i listened close, hoping not to hear any sniffing sounds.
cos sniffing sounds means that he/she was crying.
guess wad? called my sis's hp, it was off. i heard sniffing sounds too.
without thinking twice,
i pushed my way out of the people to the exit,
i think i scolded, "fuck".
oops? some other people shhh us.
damn them..
went out with my sister.
the 2 people in black were there..
i practically scolded her for losing her handphone in the toilet.
think that i did not scold her, instead, i lectured her.
cos her first phone was lost in the jp mrt station's toilet on christmas.
& now? its in the toilet again.
i think i've been too fierce.
but, its for her own good right?
she shouldnt be so careless after the first incident.
like me, i've learnt my lessons too. actually,
i din.. heh.

some cleaner came & return it to her in the end..
so relieved, that i cried.
thank GOD!! thank you SO MUCH!!
seriously, if it was lost, i wouldnt wanna think about how my parents would react.
anyways, everything's okay now.
-phew-


its getting late.
i'm turning in.
i'll try to post the pictures soon!
night people!
:D


him?
you look magnificient,
you look wonderful,
you look "oh so perfect"

entry deleted.

sorry, i was feeling so guilty..

sorry..
sorry..
once again..
sorry.

if anyone of you guys read the whole lot of paragraph, pls forget about it..
for those who haven read it,
good for you (:

a week have passed so fast.. esp life in sec 3.
it's so stressing..
& i'm deprived of sleep!! arghh..


had the voting for ex-cos today..
the first was anyu. second was durga.
we were in 4/1 wating. joan came in.. & said,
"joyce!! your turn!" of cos, i freaked out. & i screamed =/
seriously lah, everyone was so scared.. even i was scared too.
the whole class was filled with guides, & i meant, the class was REALLY REALLY full.
the front seats was mrs loh, mrs neo & ms kokila.
didnt want to take the microphone at first. cos my voice really sucks with the microphone lah..
i think my face was red bah.. kept smiling though (:
& the best thing is, I'VE FORGOTTEN TO GREET THE T'CHERS!! gosh..
i've forgotten what class i came from too. =.=""
i said, "err & erm" alot alot of times.
had to vote for 5 ppl. i've even forgotten who i've voted.. how stupid..
on my way out, the 3 teachers were looking at me..
this time, i've rmbed to greet them!
sound like a machine..

went to join anyu & durga after that.
i must say,
guides ended very early today. very very early..

went to have a look downstairs.
saw him in his squad. he kept looking ard..
made me laugh.
hoho!
&, i've said hello to him, he said hi to him.
rejoice!! woohoo!
kept laughing of cos.

jasmine kept pressurising me to tell her that a her which i claimed likes him.
told her in the end.
wells.. no harm done right?
they kept saying that she was a bitch.
tsk tsk tsk.


my weekends are going to be a terrible nightmare to me!
oh fuck.
i need someone to console me.
i feel terrible.. & when i feel terrible, i swear.
oh great.

nowadays.. i think i'm writing short posts.
really shorter than last time.
is it?


i got the feeling.. that i just want to go to the railways tracks.
sit there for hours..
recalling back my past.
my bad memories.. my good memories..
or simply just stare at the sky.

i feel so cold..

i think i'm suffering from anaemia? i'm always lacking of sleep..
BUT! i dont look pale. in fact, i look dark. nice (:

teachers caught me sleeping in class today..
chemistry, physics, chinese, & maths. esp maths period.
i felt so tired.. decided to put my head on the table..
suddenly, i hear no sound. the whole class like went quiet. mdm chang's not talking on the microphone. just dead silence..
looked up, the whole class was staring at me..
after staring, they laughed.
felt so embarassed.. =/
i hate going to school..
makes me feel so fed up.. arghh


tmr, all the sec 3 guides have to say a speech,
to make people vote for you as an ex-cos.
wankee told us to have a speech bout 3-4 mins..
i'm stunned.
still havent thought of what to say.
so dead..


i'm so NOT looking forward to the weekends..
i'm gonna suffer..
i'm gonna kill myself sooner or later..


i had some flashbacks just now.. i suddenly rmbed that time when i was smsing him.
he told me to talk to him. but i dont think i've ever spoken to him..
besides a hi, an ok and a laugh.
i rmbed when i msged him from noon to midnight..
called him "ub", called me "hg"
those times.. gone so far..
just a lil secret.. i havent deleted the sms when he asked me if my birthday was on the 27th of nov.
hohoho! cos i'm so shocked that he knew.
& some other smses of his..
hehh..

chinatown brings me loads of memories i must say..
havent been smsing him nor seeing him nor spoken to him.
feel so sad just thinking of it.
i have loads of comments bout him & a girl.
but i'm afraid that he might come here.
oh wells, he will never come here.
no need to be afraid then :D
he'll just go to that girl's web.. no, i ain jealous..
well, maybe.. just ABIT jealous.
i mean seriously,
no one likes a FAT girl anways (:


HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT
FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK IT
SHIT IT SHIT IT SHIT IT

3 days since i've last blogged.


i must admit.. these past few days,
it have been sheer madness to me.
i've like been crying the whole night.
imagine, the moment you come home,
& i meant, everytime you come home,
you're being called,
a "cheater"?
how would you feel?
hurt? upset? broken?
thats how i would feel.

we used to quick way out.
yes, we did. have you ever loved us?
instead, you practically SHAMED us.
i thought that you will feel remorseful..
instead, you're filled with anger, filled with rage.
shamed us.. how cruel can you be?
i mean seriously..

you never did asked us why we did that thing,
to make you feel upset.
no, you never asked.
you just told us how you would feel.
thats just simply plain unfair..
the reason was because, you were too harsh on us.
you use vulgar,
you somtimes even resort to violence.
that, i cannot accept.
& stop brainwashing bryan,
get the fuck off bryan, he's innocent.. he's only like, 6? wth.

i wanna say something.
if you people have any comments bout my size,
please refrain from telling me?
some people just wont know the feeling to be hurt by someone's remarks.

i'm in despair.
i hate going home nowadays.
i'm starting to hate school.. alot.
i'm beginning to think of committing suicide.
& i'm thinking of leaving home..
adults just dont understand me..

i hate maths.. i cant catch up in class anymore.. i felt like i'm a huge failure.
i need coaching, but not from him.
i want tuition.. any recommendation?


ms lim told us bout the thru-train thing that our class is taking.
she said mrs teo was not very impressed with our term 1 results.
& said, if this continues, we're going to take our N lvls.
seriously, i think taking N lvls before O lvls is much more better..
at least you got the experience.
after hearing this,
i felt like ending my life.
i'm so god damn fucked up.


i'm sorry for being so ugly,
last but not least,
i'm sorry for being so fat.
i'm sorry people out there..

im gonna be sooo dead tmr..

=]

3 days since i've last blogged.
hohoho!!
MAPLE MAPLE MAPLE!! heh~


went to far east ytd with puifun & yilian.
after that went to J8.

1 sickening problem is..
I HAVE CARSICK!!
oh my god.
this "illness" is coming back.
i hate riding on any single vehicle which have wheels.
i almost puked on the bus.
i almost puked on the taxi.
i almost puked on my dad's car.
i HATE being nauseous!!
mad*


school's reopening soon..
homeworks left undone..
i've left,
2 newspaper articles; 1 book review; 1 journal entry; physics TYS; maths worksheet.
cant rmb if i've left out anything..
oh wells~


blisters!! AHHH!!
i hate new shoes.
new shoes makes me have blisters.
i love old shoes (:


havent let my parents see my progress report.
seeing them being so happy,
i just couldnt bear to see their mad, black & sad faces.

i mean, we've just started our 3rd year in the school.
new subjects are pilling on.
& i used to take NA maths,
but now?
i'm taking express & A maths.
& my brain will take a longer time to catch up in class.
to understand wad mdm chang is teaching.
but i did pass my express maths din i?
but i failed my A maths.. T.T

& chemistry & physics.
its new right?
physics teacher sucks.
his teaching sucks.
no wonder i failed my physics..

chinese!! I'M SO MAD!
but i do have a reason for why i got 49 marks.
fucking tweety bird.
fuck it.


why why why?!
i hope ms lim forgets to collect the progress report.
in the meantime,
just have to hope that we can drag time,
drag on till the next progress report.
how long is this going to take?
i'll just pretend that i've forgotten all bout it.
hope ms lim will NEVER call my parents
-shakes head-


pictures of my purple shoes!

ALAS! beautiful purple~


well, bought these at junction 8.
those salesperson kept looking at me while i'm trying them on.
-.-""
dont think i'll wear these to school..
maybe, maybe not (:


i'm still so fucked up.
i seriously dread going to that concert thinking that i'm gonna sit next to him.
arghhh..


after hearing that song,"stan"
by eminem & dido,
i wanted to cry =/
the song is seriously very saddening.
cant paste it here,
the lyrics is 3 pages long.
woah~


i've hunted to full set of tubes ytd!!!
WOOHOOO~
its maple of cos :D




red flowery tube; black tube; blue flowery tube & purple tube!!
HOHOHOHO~


heres a meaningful poem..

in the darkness i look for someone,
in the cold i stretch out an arm.
but nobody comes,
nobody warms me.
i'm all,
all all alone.
i'm so afraid.

inspired by a book.


i just want everything to be what i want it to be.
is that so wrong?

so mad..
every single games was having problems,
was under maintence..
maple was under maintence till 1400.
neopets was lagging like siao!!
& it hangs.
i've already hacked 5 people's accounts!
woohoo~
& the best thing is, 1 of them was my close friend..
heh..

actually, neopets is still quite fun..
everytime i filled my shop with food,
up to 81 spaces,
after 3 mins, i went back to my shop,
more than half of my shop was being CLEARED!!
woohooo~


okay. seriously, i hope my sister wont see this post..
my sister's friendster name was, "LOSThope"
& theres this guy, named "Dennis",
it was ade's idea to intro him to my sister.
call me lame if you want, i seriously have absolute nothing to do right now..

& TAKE A LOOK AT THIS TESTIMONALS!!
actually, this 4 testimonals, SHORT testimonals..

TESTIMIONAL NUMBER 1;
Hey =)
you are actually quite pretty =)
must have more self confidence ok =)
bye bye=)

TESTIMONAL NUMBER 2;
This girl ah really very nice
it is impossible that she doesn't have a boyfriend =)
whoever becomes her boyfriend is the luckiest guy on earth =)

TESTIMONAL NUMBER 3;
hey cute princess ,
the march holidays are coming =)
can't wait =)
such a nice person is hard to find nowadays
so super niceeeeeeeeeeeeee
not to mention beautifullllllllllllllllll
has a nice personality
nice to talk to
and very humble =)
i shall write until here =)
bye bye cutie princess =)
MUST HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF =)

TESTIMONAL NUMBER 4;
hey beautiful princess =)
you must have more confidence in yourself and not always think that your life is meanless ok
i shall write until here
take care
bye bye

---END OF TESTIMONALS---


know wad i think sister?
i think he's beating ard the bush. he's talking to same old stuffs.
he repeats himself.
seriously, i have no idea why my sister likes him.
thats wad i think, i dont even know if my sister like him anot.
& that guy,
he thinks that wad he writes, can make her heart beat faster?
or make her heart jump?
seriously,
if he wanna get hold of her,
he's gonna have to get through & past me first
(:

i'm such a good sister.
-compliments-


i'm filled with angst! i feel so hopeless!!
he did not reply my messgae.
i'll just take it as,
he's forgotten or he fell alsleep.
or his phone sending fail or something.
sometimes, i dont wanna find out the truth.


sorry anyu, shiping & puifun!
esp to anyu!!
sorry for not accompanying you guys to watch nanny mcphee ytd.
i was saving my money for dorm.
hehehe..
once again..

SORRY!


i've observed loads of things.
yes i do.
:D


i want to change my seating for the esplanade!!
CHANGE!
CHANGE!
CHANGE!!!
sometimes, his behaviour really creeps me out.
he lies bout his grandfather or something.
he lies bout his girlfriend in japan,
which he claims that she have passed away as she was having cancer.
he lies bout him driving a sports car.
hello? you're not even 18 or 21?
he lies bout having A HUGE FORTUNE waiting for him in his bank account.
he lies bout having a really cool car.
& the best of all, he's gonna sit next to me during the esplanade performance.
god!
i wanna change places with either jie or puifun or anyu or shiping!!!
HELP!


my arms are still aching..
ouch*


alakazam!
i wish you were a frog!
so that you will listen to me whenever i'm speaking!

i found myself,
having no reason to smile.


oh great.
i'm having aches all over..
my butt hurts. =/
my arms & shoulders hurt..
i think it's becos i have not exercise for ages!
heh~
that explains my size (:


i'm so lazy to get outta the house..
have to go back to school again later.. sighs.
but look on the bright side!
i'm going shopping with asg later! wooo~


ytd.. jie went for an eye checkup.
she complains that she cant see the whiteboard.
gosh.. she's like.. sitting infront of me during class.
& she cant see. hoho!
but i can! cos i have 6/6 vision :D
but! she doesnt need to wear one cos her eyesight is on the borderline of myopia.
i wanna wear glasses too!
^^

looking at the happy faces of my parents,
i couldnt bear letting them down with my utterly disgraceful results..
sighs..


i bought a new bag ytd!!
WOOO!
& my mum was unhappy bout it..
cos on jan, i bought an op sling bag.
& i used it for bout 3 mths, then, i've changed another bag.
she thinks it's wasteful..
but i think it's cool!
having to change bags for 3 mths.
hohoho!


i suddenly thought of an incident,
theres this particular girl, alibaba knows her.
i still rmb, when i was sec 2,
she scolded me, bitch.
we knew immediately it was her.
we were in the computer lab.
so my sis, who was in a rage,
stomped madly to her, and swing that girl to face her,
& she scolded her,
"what the fuck, she wasnt even online, how can she even scold you?! & fucking hell, stop going to her blog! shit you"
yep! thats wad i rmbed.
& i started & diao her.
now, i think shes letting out the infos of people..
ahhh.. complicated.
hehhh~


i'm learning how to repent for my sins.
i wanna do something good for people.
thats why, i'm starting to do good deeds for people..
=)


i wanna return to my childhood..
where there is unlimited happiness.
x)

i feel like changing url..
but,
its so troublesome!!
arghhh..


seriously,
everything i do, no one really bothers me..
nor take notice of what i do.
if i'm doing something bad..
then they will take notice of it.
but if i'm doing something good,
they wont notice it.
i wonder..
does my parents really regrets giving birth to twins?
all they care was my brother,
my 5 year old brother.
younger children tend to get more attention than older children.
no, dont get me wrong.
i dont want any attention.
i'm not an AS nor SA.. & i'm esp not an AA.
hahahaha!


i hate people who say people fat.
FAT PEOPLE RULES!
dont discrminate them..
ever wonder how they will feel after you comment them on their size?
i dont know why..
i'm so sensitive to the 3 letter word.
sensitive!!
i hate that..


i knew it! i knew it long ago!!
no, i did not regret bout his answer.. although i was abit shocked after hearing what he said.
actually, not to me..
wads the difference?

what am i to him?
oh..
peanuts.
heh heh..


i think i'm gonna hate the holidays.
ANTI-MOCKS!
anti everything!!
i just wanna do stuffs by myself..

i'm beginning to hate fnn lessons..
esp practicals.
i hate having to walk to the kitchen alone,
i hate having to walk back to class after the lessons,
i hate having to be under control by someone.
LOOK!
i'm big & strong!
& i'm no push-over.
next time, i'm gonna be fiercer,
& mostly,
i'm not gonna be pushed over by someone who's smaller size than me.
yes, i'm younger than anyone else in the kitchen.

mum & dad,
can i drop fnn?


jessie!
LOVE HAPPY PEOPLE!!
:)


you never did all those things that you used to do.
ahhh.. disappointments..
a fat girl cant do anything right?
as if a fat person can change the future..

miss lim said i was,
cheerful,
chatty,
& was a responsible chemistry rep.
my conduct was excellent.
:D

i wont go into details about my terrible results.
yep~


seriously,
i'm still not sure about how to break the news to my parents..
they're still clueless that we've already got back our progress report.
ahhh..
i feel so bad.

had outdoor cooking.
actually, should be,
"indoor cooking"
heh.
whats the difference?
its just indoor & outdoor.

seriously, those sec 5s seniors of mine are serious "day-brighteners" to me.
:)


joan told me something bout him..
again..
she said he dont talk to girls that much.
only to his class girls..
















































ahhh..
what the heck.
as if it can change anything..


HAPPY! :)
BE LIKE ME.

i'm pretty upset today.


seriously.. he treats me as if i'm invisible.
ahhh..
sad..
disappointed.
-kills myself-

jez told me.
someone called "ah-ma-li-na" knows that i like him.
gosh..
i must admit, i was abit pissed lah..
her whole squad knows.
-.-"""


that god damn bastards,
SHENGLONG & SEBASTIAN!!!
they din take the chinese test,
& therefore,
the chinese marks which i've scored 67 would NOT be counted in my progress report.
what hell..
i'm SOOO bloody pissed off.
so pissed that i cried.
even lk's mad.
sam's mad.
jie's mad.
only those people who pass would NOT be so fed up.
i'm REAL mad.


i'm gonna fail my chinese,
maths,
science,
combined humanities.
argh.. i was really really low today..
even my ss marks would NOT be counted.

told mdm chang that i wanted to jump off the building.
hohoho.
yilian scolded and hit me.
told me not to do anything stupid.
mdm chang told me how to tell my parents.
but i think that will not work ah..
thnks people..


went to mac with pf, sam, jie & jez.
we're like.. having the "last" happy moments before we suffer tmr.
went to the playground..
suggested by jez.
heh heh heh..
played like wild animals.
after that, had some talks btw ourselves.
i'm sure to get some sun burns tmr!
YESYESYES!!
i love getting dark (:
i had a flashback..
when exactly was the last time i had such fun ever since i stepped into secondary school life?
i had loads of laughs.
which i long for..
thnks guys..
i never did think about taking back our progress report when i'm having such fun.
all the best guys!
i'm sure going to flunk EVERYTHING!!

love ya guys!! :D


treat me as if i'm visible okay?
i miss those times badly..

i feel bad,
i feel sad.


i got 67 for my chinese!
for me, its a big big BIG improvement le.
WOOHOOO!!
lk even tried to "kill" tweety bird with a brick!
aiyo..


din do anything during guides today..
we just had some, "talk" to patch things up.
& i asked HER* a qus bout something,
i felt rage all over me all of a sudden..
she's just so unreasonable,
& she's twisting & turning stories.


saw so many people cried for the past few days..
seriously,
whats this world coming to?


gonna complete my fnn..
tatas! =)


sister of mine;
pls dont let miss lim's comments ruined your mood.
i think she doesnt meant what she says.
if she really wants to see mum & dad, i'll help you.
just promise me,
study harder k? (:

yilian;
dont be so stressed up bout the atoms & such yah?
i'll help you complete it!
no doubt bout that ^^

yesyesyes!
just finished half of the fnn homework.
ahhh.. good gracious!
its so difficult. & i've left minerals.
gonna complete it tmr (:


i dont understand.. again..
why cant microsoft word recongise words like,
"anaemia, haemoglobin, tocopherol, calciferol" etc etc..
hohoho!


I HATE THE SECURITY GUARD,
DAVID!
pui!


i was walking home with jie & puifun;
i was at the front while the 2 of them were at the back.
i turned my head back, and
poof!
MY SISTER FELL DOWN ON HER KNESS!
wahahahahaha!! i couldnt stop talking bout it. xD


james kerk's NOT coming for physics lessons tmr!!
WHOOPEE!!


jessie,
take care k? dont say that you're fat or anything.
you're not,
but i am.
& no one really understands me anyways.

oh wells..

guess wad? our school's name wasnt in the syf list. & most of us did not regret.. its like.
their disclipine was SUPER SUPER STRICT!
the sock must be 4 fingers length above your ankles,
no fringes must be seen,
no flying hairs,
no bun-ing up of hair and no pony-tails.
must be plaits.

ahhhh.. strict strict strict.


went to junction 8 after the briefing.
ate at LJS.

sp & anyu had to leave early for tuition while zubaidah had something on.
so, left the ASG! (:

went to take np's! YAYS!


had campfire at rv ytd. theres only the 9 of us attending it.
& i must say, their gateway was simply marverllous!
& v v high too.
overalls, the campfire was quite fun!
we were quite HIGH at the activites.
i love my sec 5 seniors ^^


getting back our progress report soon.
i know it's gonna suck.
hope for the better!

yilian! if you're reading this,
save it here k? send these to ade or pf when they're online yah? X)



the insane clique; ASG!

my hair must have fallen off. shucks >.<

LOOK AT PUIFUN! watatatata! X))

yl's pulling her eye. -.-""

bunch of monkeys. HELP! pf & i cant breathe! =X

ACT DAO! heh heh heh..

the kings & queens!

*pulls out tongue*

moodswings~

cant take this sheer madness no more.


i'll cry whenever mummy & daddy quarels. why dont they understand?
they thought that when both of them shout at each other, the most hurtful ones are their children.
i dread hearing them quarrel.
hoping for the better*


the homeworks given by faizal is getting harder & harder..
esp the one with tables, the fact is,
i dont know how to draw tables using microsoft word.
dumb~


had an A. maths test today & i've forgotten all about it!
i've been craming for history, fnn & english.
ahhh.. my sec 3 life, so stressing.

intially, puifun promised me that she's gonna let me copy her maths test.
BUT! in the end?
it was i who helped her correct her work, and even let her copy mine!
aiyo..


guess who's the new mr kerk's wife?
MY SISTER!
heh heh heh..
whenever i see james kerk, i'll shout out to him, & point to my sister, & say, "MR KERK! MRS KERK'S HERE!"
hohoho!


i wonder.. why does slim & thin people often say that they're so FAT & UGLY? it doesnt make sense.. if those chio & slim people say that they're FAT & UGLY, doesnt that means those people who're really FAT & UGLY worse?
it just doesnt make sense..
*rolls eyes*


guides today was si bei HORRIBLE!!
i think i shouldnt write it in my blog,
or someone else might see it. worse come to worse, she might read it & get mad & starts to cry.. sheesh.
i'll post it as a draft ( :

& btw! i was really really shocked that your comments towards her was, "neutral".
gosh gosh GOSH.. dont you know that word, neutral, really shocked us all?
dont you know you just hurt your best friend?
disappointed*


okay!
NO MORE DEPRESSING MOMENTS!
seriously, i think the t'chers are going to side with her.
like wad one of the guides t'cher said, she's a girl with potential.
doesnt that means she's gonna be the company leader or any of the ex-cos?
sighs.


zubaidah told me something. i guessed she must have saw my reaction towards somebody.
she told me that her 2 **** (a cca) friends said that i like somebody, which was true.
but the fact is, i dont even know them?
& yet, they know who i like. i guess his whole squad must have known it by now.
cool! ^^


syf's tmr. no one says what time to meet nor what to being etc etc..
i guess they're just pissed.
gonna call them later when their anger cools down.

CHEER UP SHIPING! ADELINE! etc etc..
she's NOT worth your anger & tears to shed for
RMB! theres still me shiping!
rmb those times we had? we're so happy & we're pair no. 2 right? had fun playing those games with you,
i missed those times when we are miles away from the word, unhappiness.
cheer up peeps!
:D


i've craving for a movie. but no money..
fan nao!!
ARGH..


put the past behind,
celebrate those good times we had.

even though it happened once in a lifetime,
i'm contented.


this computer of mine is seriously driving me nuts!! arghhh! stupid connection..


hoho!
i've scored 16/35 for my physics!!
-cheers for me-
i dont know why, the moment i got back my physics paper,
i just started smiling and smiling and laughed.

i've failed. yes i have;
but! its my first time right? bu yao qi nei!
i'll do better next time round :D


i do feel sad bout my results,
so i use my markers to write some phrases at my palm.
i wrote..

"BE CHEERFUL!"
&, "smile like me!"
together with some other emotions.
i must admit, that really did helped alot. i'm feeling much more better after seeing those heart-warming words on my palm and in my notebook.
thats one of my way to keep myself away from sadness!^^

no wonder..
my notebook's filled with THOUSANDS of them!
hohoho!!


cant believe kalis's dropping outta fnn and joining art!! i'm thinking of dropping outta fnn too. gonna ask daddy to write a letter to the principal (:


sometimes, we must look on the bright side.
no matter what obstacles that blocks you,
continue your journey and never give up on yourself cause you're the only one who can save yourself.